Monday, June 6, 2011

A Neko's guide to a good scary movie.

Written from the view point of a watcher and not a movie maker.

     1. Keep it a secret

Nothing is as scary as the unknown. Once you know it's Fred from elementary school who's leaving you all the dead kitties it's easy to come up with a game plan. Once you know that he best way to get rid of Fred is to introduce him to Janet who's been leaving dead puppies at your boyfriend's house .... well he's no longer scary.

     2. Keep it simple

Maybe it's just me ... but the more complex a plot is the less scary it becomes. When it's simple and there aren't a lot of twists and turns it's scarier. If you are keeping it a secret you really don't need too many plot twists anyway.

     3. Make the twists and turns you do have worth the pencil they are written with.

I.E ... make them believable and relevant. When Auntie Sue Bell turns out to be the hairy butcher you accidently deep fried when you were 12 make sure we know the reason he's now Auntie Sue Bell  is because you did irreversible damage to his man parts. Also we want Auntie Sue Bell to come back to revenge said man parts and not to start a pudding shop down on main street.

     4. Don't pander to our desire to see good win.

Just because the hero doesn't die at the end of the movie doesn't mean he needs to be safe. Who knows Fred and Auntie Sue Bell may have fostered a young boy child who hungers for your toe nail clippings.

     5. Make it innocent.

Nothings is scarier than something we trust. Who would ever expect that young Freddie Bell will kill you for your toenails. He's so sweet and angelic with his pretty blonde hair and sharp pointy teeth. And the cute little puppy at this side. Well the most adorable little man eater you ever did see. I had no idea he preferred your eye socket over a fire hydrant.

I am sure there are a lot of other things we can add to this and I welcome any and all suggestions. I am not claiming to be a guru of all things scary, but I know what I like to see.
 

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